Wednesday, May 11, 2011

God Called & He Left You A Message!

Hello Peeps!

Hope today finds you in good spirits and enjoying life. The rains have ceased for a couple days to give us a bit of sunshine. I am really hoping it lasts long enough for me to go out and start working in the gardens soon. Gardening gives me great pleasure to see how a tiny little seed can grow and thrive into something so beautiful when the blossom finally opens up to reveal it's beauty to the world. People are like that too. they just don't realize it. A small seed can thrive and grow on it own, struggling for water and good soil yet with loving care and nurturing, the flower inside that little seed will really come to life and bloom abundantly with a little help and love. So will people. It's natures way.

I was thinking this morning how God works in mysterious ways and sends a message to you when you least expect it. You can never tell what or who he will use to get your attention. Sometimes things like that just make me smile. God must sure have a good sense of humor and is probably smiling right back at the irony of that, especially when he sees the realization on my face when it happens.

We've been working on house improvements some, updating and doing repairs and such. We try to do that each year with the tax money we get back. We discovered a while back that our water heater had a leak and needed to be replaced. Cold baths are not very appealing in the wee hours of the morning, so we knew it was past time to get it replaced. We also had a bathroom faucet that we wanted installed that we bought a couple years ago but couldn't install ourselves. Most times we are able to do all our own home repairs but we found out early on when we bought the house, that Lovie and I are definitely not plumbers. I can install a floor, paint, do wall repairs, electrical work, build things, install ceilings and many other various home improvements , but not the plumbing! I totally suck at that! So we know from experience that anytime it involves water pipes or plumbing, we call a professional plumber.

Dwayne is a guy we know that is the nephew of our septic guy. When we had a problem last year and our basement flooded, Dwayne is the one who came out and found the problem. Our main sump pump needed replaced so Dwayne fixed it for us at a reasonable price. He is a plumber by trade in his day job but he works on the side and doesn't overcharge all the extra fees that other plumbers do. If a part cost him $6.00 he charges us $6.00, not $47 dollars like most other service people do who jack up the price seven times so they can pocket the extra money. Dwayne actually shows us the Home Depot receipt and if he quotes us a price he sticks to it, even if he has to end up replacing a bunch of other parts, he does it free of charge because he sticks by his word. We offer him extra money and he always refuses to take it. We know we can trust him and he will tell us straight up good advice and products that are good and what isn't good quality products.

So Dwayne and another kid came out to install the water heater and faucet. Our old water heater lasted 29 years which was great, the new one will last about 8 years because they just don't make em like they used to. Quality in any product has went downhill because they have cheapened the materials so much to make products with lesser quality/cost and yield the manufacture higher profits. The GE water heater had a huge dent in it in the top but the box it came in had no sign of damage, which means it was packaged that way from the beginning. It didn't damage the water heater, as it was more cosmetically, but still paying over $400 for a product, you expect it to be good. Anyway, we decided to go ahead and just get it done since it would not affect the operation of it. So they installed the water heater and the faucet.

We discovered a leak in the pipes under the sink, but since it was already going on 9:30 at night, Dwayne decided he would come back the next day and repair the leak at no cost to us. It was separate from the faucet because it was coming from the actual pipes around the bolts under the sink. Dwayne came last night and took care of it and refused to take any extra money even though he replaced the bolts and hoses out of his own pocket. So all was well and it only took him about 30 minutes to get it done, but he was there for about two hours.

Dwayne is a talker. I have never seen a boy who can talk so much or so fast and he gets pretty animated when he is telling a story. I call him a boy, but he is a man in his early 40's, married and has two grown kids getting ready to have kids of their own. Lovie asked him about his wife and family and he started telling us all about his dad and his kids and some pretty funny stories about the SWAT team being called on his dad with a 7 hour stand off. Too long to go into but the point is that Dwayne can talk the bark off a tree. For some reason the conversation turned to telling us about his mama and how on her deathbed she asked for someone from their church to come pray with her, however nobody ever came because they were all too busy. That had a negative effect on Dwayne and he started talking about church and God and the Bible.

Now I would never figured Dwayne to be a religious sort of man, but what I do know about him is that he is honest and dependable. Dwayne will tell you himself that he doesn't go to church and he is a sinner. But as sure as I know God, I know this man is destined to be a man of God and to preach the gospel. I am not talking about in a church, I am talking about to the people who live on the streets and the ones who need it the most. Just like Jesus did. I am sure Dwayne had no idea that when he started talking about church, and the Bible that he would be the messenger for God to get a message to me about something I had been pondering on for a while. But sure enough standing there at our front door for about an hour and half, Dwayne did just that.

I have to smile at the irony of that. God heard my prayers and questions and he sent our plumber to deliver the answer. I wasn't expecting the answers to come like that, yet it doesn't surprise me either. Yes indeed, God works in mysterious ways. I am sure that Dwayne probably left scratching his head wondering why the conversation took that direction too, but if I know him, he will realize it later and heed to his true calling and purpose. He's a fantastic plumber but that man is destined to become a true man of God, he just hasn't realized it yet.

Thanks God for the message. I got it loud and clear. :)

Until next time,
PolarB ;)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Every year this day always brings me a mixed bag of emotions. I just never know what kind of feelings it is going to bring up for me or what I am going to pull out of the bag. Shake it up and see what falls out...

I wondered today what my birth mother feels or thinks about this day. Does she think of her two kids that she abandoned and wonder what they are doing on this day? Does it make her regretful that she made those choices? Or does it even phase her at all? Does she feel sad because nobody acknowledges her on this day reserved for showing appreciation to your mother.

Sometimes it brings up anger for me. Why would I acknowledge a woman who was never a mother to me? She did give me life by birthing me, but other than that, what else can I feel appreciative to her for? Nothing really because she was too non existant in my life.

I felt sad this year on several levels. One because not having a mother growing up left a hole inside me for many years that is still there. Most times I can fill that aching void with other things. People in my life that I am appreciative for. There have been many. Yet none of them are a true mother no matter how much I try to imagine that they are. That is a loss I will always grieve for.

As well, I get a sense of my own womanhood as well knowing that I will never get the privledge of being a mother myself. That makes me sad some days too. I would have made a fantastic nurturing mother. But things don't always work out how we think they will and we deal with the lot we have been given. I grieve for the loss of my only child just as much as I grieve for the loss of my childhood.

It's days like this that make me do alot of deep profound thinking. Pensive, and a bit sad yet still I will move forward and live my life with joy in spite of it all.
I don't know why it surprises me still sometimes that the grief sneaks up on me. I guess I can attribute that to it is always a journey of continually moving forward. Just like moving along a spiral.... upward and onward.

Sometimes that's all we can do.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Oct 1st 2005 First Blog Post

In honor of Blogstream closing tonight, I wanted to repost my very first blog I wrote back on October 1st, 2005. It was the start of something pretty wonderful which led me to make friends with vitual strangers who become a very close knit community of close friends. There will never be another blogging community quite the same, as the ole Stream had a touch of magic to it that was undeniable. Anyway.... here it is, enjoy.

Oct 1st, 2005

Good Morning!

Ahhhhh, need another cup of coffee to get me going. Wow,I am sooo glad it is the weekend..

One of my most recent discoveries has been this blogging- I got an email from Angela Shelton the other day, who by the way is a most amazing woman for getting her voice out there about sexual abuse of children... keep plugging away Angela- even if it's only one voice at a time- we will all be heard until it cannot be ignored anymore....

I'm getting off track here... any of the links on her website was Rosie O'Donnell's blog site, which I did not know about. Ro and Angela are friends so I decided to check it out.

A lot of the site is Ro's political views which she feels very passionately about- which everyone is entitled to their own opinion... some I agree with, some I don't - that's the beauty of having your own mind so you can make intelligent decisions for yourself. Take what you like and leave the rest....

Anyway, I was reading some past blog she had written and came across one where she was talking about being in a store shopping for clothes and she noticed a man came in who was apparently mentally challenged. you know the ones that society tends to back away from because they deem them crazy.....People have fear of things they know nothing about... Millions of people suffer from schizophrenia but they are out on the streets because unfortunately they don't have someone in their lives to help them and care about them enough to make sure they are taking their meds in order to function in society.

Anyway, Ro wrote about going up and speaking to him and looking into his eyes and seeing the person who was deep inside and treating them with respect. Treating him like a human being that he probably does not find in others too often...which is a shame that we as a society do not take care of one another and have respect for another life...

In reading this I was moved by her compassion. Ro may be a lot of things to many people and some of them people are not always nice and pleasant...which is unfortunate, but imagine how hard it must be to be in the public eye and have every move you make criticized or blown out of proportion all in the name of selling those rag mags...I applaude her courage to live her life whether anyone is looking or not.. The way I see it, Ro is being real and true to who she is- she has such a big heart and she has been through way much more than we the public eye will ever know... You can tell she was deeply affected by her mother's death and still is to this day... if you go to her site and read the blog- you can read between the lines of what has been written and get a glimpse of who the woman really is- she has a beautiful soul and I love seeing the pictures of her kids and the way she has opened her heart for them... Saving little lives and making a difference to them.... I only wish all children in this world had that same chance...

Anyway... Ro is actually the one who inspired me to start my own blog... so hence- here we go.......

Til we meet again,