Thursday, March 24, 2011

Create Your Best Life

Create the best

Calm your thoughts and be peaceful. Know that all is well, all the time.
This moment is already the best it can be, and is everything it can be.Accept it and move forward.

Do not fear the worst, for your thoughts of fear give great power to whatever it is you fear. Instead, sincerely expect the best and you create the best.

Know that the positive possibilities are always present, and your eyes will be opened to them. Everything that is, can be put to good use in moving toward your highest vision for life.

As life unfolds in each moment, new opportunities are being born.No matter what has already happened, choose to create the very best you can imagine.

This is the day that you have to work with. Live with peaceful purpose, and use it to create a magnificent world.

-- Ralph Marston
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I love Ralph's words. It is so true and there is value in what he is saying. It is one of the things that I love so much about listening to Joel Osteen every Sunday morning. It is that positive vibe and knowing that you have the ability to create the peaceful life that you want to have. Just like Ralph says, "No matter what has already happened, choose to create the very best you can imagine. Know that positive possibilities are always present."

If you are surrounded by chaos, you have the ability to create a calm peaceful environment around you. Some people doubt that because they like to blame everyone else around them for their own circumstances. Maybe your kids are always fighting and your spouse is always in a bad mood and yells a lot. Maybe your life is not what you desire it to be. Do you add to the problem or do you become a part of the solution by leading the way? In other words do you yell and scream back that you want peace and quiet and if so, did that ever work for you? No. Of course it didn't. How would you ever expect to gain peace and quiet if you are not being peaceful and quiet yourself? The thing is...that you can't control how other people react nor can you make somebody do something that they don't want to do. You can only control you. You can only change your own actions and behaviors and thought processes.

People like to use excuses saying you don't know what I have to put up with or so and so makes me so mad I have to get loud and angry in order for others to hear me. No you don't. It is a choice. If you do not have a peaceful calm life, it is because you are not choosing to have a peaceful calm life. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday. It doesn't matter who did what to who. You do not have to get back at them or nor should you expect them to change just because you want them to. You can only change you.

Sometimes I feel surrounded by noise and it gets to me. I love peace and quiet because it brings me serenity and that feeling of peacefulness makes me feel good inside. However, I work in a very busy office and there is constant noise all around me all day long. Phones ringing, keyboards clicking away as people work, people talking and conversing all around me in a hundred different conversations all going on at once. Sometimes it is so loud it is hard to even hear myself think. It's those days that it really tends to get to me. Sometimes it is hard to block it out and I start to feel unfocused and scattered and I have the need to just have sweet peace and quiet. I can feel myself getting agitated at all the constant noise & chatter. When I go home at the end of the day, Lovie has the TV blaring because she likes to have it on at all times so the noise level around me may still be bothersome to me because all I want is to just be quiet and listen to the silence. I don't expect Lovie to sit quietly catering to my desires nor do I think she should have to change her routine. I could politely ask her to turn off the TV but why should I expect her to change her behavior just because I want her to? I don't, because I have the ability to go into another room where it is quiet to calm my world. I take myself out of the situation by retreating into the bedroom with the door closed or I have the option of going downstairs in the family room to fulfill my desire for peace and quiet. See how that works? I have the ability to change my own actions to create the result I am seeking.

Let me give you another example. Let's say you get into a heated conversation with somebody and you feel you aren't getting any where near a resolution and in fact the more you talk to the other person, the situation is escalating and getting worse. What can you do? You feel yourself getting angry and you want to make sure your point of view is understood by the other person. What can you do? Well the thing about it is that if you are having conflicting viewpoints, you most likely are just going to continue to butt heads. Because you want the other person to see and understand your viewpoint and basically agree with you and guess what? The other person is going to stand just as strong in their convictions and arguments because they are wanting the exact same thing. They want you to understand their viewpoint and to agree with their belief systems, unfortunately their belief system is not always going to jive with your belief system and that is okay.

Maybe the best solution would be to both agree to take a step back and say okay I think we need to take a break from this conversation because we are not coming to a resolution and we need to discuss this rationally when our feelings are not escalated. Agree to continue the conversation at another time in order to come to a mutual agreement for all parties involved. Sometimes you need to step back for a bit of time to be able to see a resolution.

Lovie and I have done this several times. We may get into a heated discussion because both of us believe passionately in our belief systems and we want the other person to see our side and agree with us. It really doesn't matter who is perceived as right or wrong, because the real issue is, is that we want the other person to understand us and our feelings and to agree with us. Sometimes the other person is not ready to give up the conversation and they want to continue to try to get their point across. It is okay to say- "We are not getting anywhere with this conversation right now so I am going to not continue it at this moment. We will come back to it later to find a solution." and then walk away ending the conversation. Make sure you follow up though and go back to the discussion at a later time to mutually agree upon a solution. You will both be able to take the time to gather your thoughts and to find a better result. Sometimes you are not going to always agree with one another but you can both come to a mutual agreement of what is acceptable to both parties. Sometimes this requires give and take and that is okay and you can work together for the best solution for a win win resolution.

Too many times people feel like they cannot do anything about their situation so they just accept it feeling overwhelmed and defeated. Peeps, it doesn't have to be that way because you always have choices. I cannot say that enough. In every single situation or circumstance there are choices. You may not like all the choices but you can make the best decision that will help you to get closer to the outcome or goal you are looking for. So many times I listen to people and their words and hear how they feel trapped and hopeless in situations that they wish would get better but yet they take no action to make it better for themselves. Maybe it is out of fear, but as Ralph says when you give into your fears you are giving more power to what it is that you fear verses overcoming them, and triumphing over them.

Listen to Ralph's words and let them sink in....

"As life unfolds in each moment, new opportunities are being born. No matter what has already happened, choose to create the very best you can imagine."

"This is the day that you have to work with. Live with peaceful purpose, and use it to create a magnificent world."

It is possible and I wish for you the very best.



Blessings & Bear Hugs,

PolarB ;)

8 comments:

Whit's Whittlings2 said...

PolarB:

You are right! It is more important to have understanding than agreement with another person. Recently, I was discussing politics with a friend of a different political persuasion. Rather than adding more heat than light to the discussion, I told my friend that we would just have to agree to disagree. He agreed, and the rest of the evening was spent in pleasant conversation.

PolarB said...

Yes Whit exactly! I have done that many times myself. It is so much nicer that way to agree to disagree. It takes nothing away from each other and each person still has their dignity intact!

Secret said...

Great blog, PolarB! I think agreeing to disagree is hard for most people, but sometimes that's just what you have to do. It sounds like you & Lovie have a good thing going when it comes to giving/taking.

Bella said...

great post, PB! and so true...why do people think they have to be right all the time? its craziness. All one needs is validation that its okay to have those feelings, or opinions...to each their own.

Mister Ornery said...

PolarB,
Excellent food for thought. Difficult to keep in mind at times, but worth pursuing.

TAB said...

Hey girl....finding a lot of streamers here and that's a good thing......what's up wid you......got any good tails to tell......

ICE said...

we are all looking for a way out aren't we?

TAB said...

If I see one more picture of you in the sun smiling at myrtle beach I am going to start sending hate mail....LOL